A Vessel in His Hands

I'm sitting here at the island in my kitchen debating what to put on here. It's tough deciding what to share and what not to share as the Lord is working in my heart, but here goes. It seems as though Satan is really at work, he doesn't want me going to Uganda and sharing about my Savior. He is determined to make me think about everything else. Lately it's been my choice of career. Let me first give a disclaimer, I love what I do. I'm a nurse and proud of it! I worked for two very long, very difficult years and made it through. My brother passed away in my final semester and the Lord gave me the courage and strength to continue on. I've been a nurse for two years and I really don't regret it.

But...growing up what I really wanted was to be a doctor. I had switched, if you want to call it that, my focus on several occasions going from wanting to go into family practice to pursing cardiology to trauma surgeon etc. I love the diagnostics, the mysteries that the world of medicine can bring up. But for a while I ran from dream, and when I returned to my dream of being in the medical world I chose nursing. For a couple big reasons, one being finances, the other being the fact that as a woman who would love a family in the future, I did not want to have to sacrifice my family for my career. 

So why do I bring this up? Because it's been stirring in my heart. It may be Satan trying to distract me from my trip or it truly may be the Lord stirring up that desire buried down deep in my heart. Either way I know that I need to focus on what is right now, and that is my trip and the children's musical at church. I was sitting here thinking and praying and remembered Psalm 37:4-5 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to him, trust in him and he will act." So I prayed and committed these desires to the Lord and asked that He will act in the way that He pleases. I don't know what will happen but right now I am a nurse, and I will serve the Lord joyfully and faithfully as a nurse at my job and on my trip. And I won't let Satan distract me from that. 

The other thing the Lord was teaching me today was, in no way is this about me. I have this mission journal for my trip. At the top of each page is a quote or verse. It was no mistake that on one of the pages I wrote on today was a quote from Beth Moore that reads: 

Life vastly simplifies and satisfaction greatly amplifies when we begin to realize our awesome roles. God is God. Frankly, it's all about Him. Thank goodness, He is the center of the universe. 

My role as a nurse is important when it's all about God. All the insecurities and frustrations in my life that Satan keeps bringing up and whispering in my ear make everything about me. About what I can and can't do, what I've done or haven't done; who I am and what I have or haven't achieved. It brings about a prideful, sinful attitude. I realized after reading the quote that it isn't who I am on my own. It's what Christ can and will accomplish in and through me. I am nothing but a vessel in His hands. This time is a time of purging of sin in my life to become a vessel for honorable use. In 2 Timothy 2:20-21 Paul explains this to Timothy. "Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work." I want to be an honorable vessel to be used by the Lord for every good work. Whether that is here at home at my job or in my church ministry or in Uganda or another foreign country. I alone am just the vessel, the Lord is the master that will fill me up and use me in the purposes that He has for me.

Please pray with me that God will use me mightily in Uganda and that I will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy and that my heart and mind will be guarded from the attacks and schemes of the Devil.